The hunt continues

Almost a year on, and nothing has changed. No, that's not completely true. Nothing about me has changed for the better.

I feel more scared, lost and confused than ever. I feel useless and worthless. I feel like there's no future to work towards with the simple reason that I suck.

There are no small victories left to relish in on the day to day to keep me going, only a growing pile of failures that sit ominously behind me.

Clearly, I'm not attempting to face them at all. When I should, really. Evaluate, reflect, and grow from them. So many mistakes to grow from.

But I can't face them. I'm too ashamed. Too ashamed of how imperfect I am, though I am tempted to say how imperfect I have become.

But then, I never was perfect to begin with.

I guess this is another messy post with no coherence and structure. Just like the way I'm living my life.

Lol. 

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