Module decisions

The results for round 3's module registration isn't out yet. And I'm still fretting over which modules to take! This is horrible.

It's horrible not only because I'm running out of time, but also because it's really a reflection of how inept I am at making decisions.

Oh, speaking of... Which? It's not really a related topic, but I have a feeling that A's friend is... Y'know. Confession moment. Based on his blog. And I really shouldn't care as much as I am, but the feeling of losing the... Constant friendship is... It still kinda sucks no matter how wrong or whatever it is. I feel alone in my irrational fears and worries.

J isn't going to entertain any of it, I'm sure, and I understand why he wouldn't. It's pretty silly, just pick one and be done with. Yet something as simple as that is so difficult for me to do. I can't pick. I'm so scared of regretting, of making the wrong choice. When did I become like this? When did I become so scared of everything, scared of committing to a choice?

To be honest, I should take it as either way also will regret so why think so much right?

I have to decide this on my own. If I can't even do this then just screw life, I can't adult ever.

Okay, I have tons of work to do. Readings to read - which I'm planning to screw atm... Okay no I'm going to half-ass it. Then video annotations. Then more readings. Okay. Yeah cool oh wait no NKF'S posters. Okay that too. Then revise Jap. I should make a list.

I'm scared. I feel alone again. I feel like I'm making a shit ton of lousy mistakes again. Mistakes that could have been avoided if you just etc etc. What's the etc etc? What am I supposed to do now to prevent future problems? I don't know what to consider. I cannot do this. I don't know how to do this.

But no. I'm not going to go down without giving a lil fight as least. I need to get a grip on my life, myself. I need to make a decision on my damn modules first and freaking stick with it. Clearly, I'm tempted by semantics. Screw it all. If I have to go to the temple for this shit the gods will laugh me out again. But I think my mind has been decided, hence the constant back and forth. Let's go down this sem with a bang.

Okay next. A list of things to complete by priority. Clean my table first probably then the list. Okay. Clean table first. Paper mop room.

Oh look, I'm lapsing into procrastination! My, my.

But I do have to clean my table. Okay I shall. Let's go.

You can do it Er. Even if you're alone. Our problems are not others to handle.
We can get through this, it's only first week!

Lifing is tiring man. I wanna play games.

Sigh.

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