Jealousy

Never thought I'd be the jealous type. But apparently, it runs through my veins.

Every so often I picture him with someone - you know who. Everything was good, he said. And I feel like, it must have been the perfect relationship. She fitted him well, hell, she fit him exactly, I'm sure.

I know this is just me making assumptions. Nothing is perfect. But that's what goes through my mind. She was there for him, she must have been amazing for him, and... I'm not.

I don't even know to think if we fit together or not at all. Such different lifestyles. Different personalities. Different everything?

Then comes the toxic part, comparison. Worst still, I know nothing of her so she's perfect in my mind. How do you win, or even feel good about yourself against a standard like that?

That aside, I'm not even strong enough for this. I'm always in need of support. How can I support another when I'm still crumbling at my foundations? What kind of ridiculous partner am I being - nothing short of burdensome.

I'm not strong enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not enough.

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